Sonoma County, CA
Somatica® Trained Sex and Relationship Coach and Certified Sexologist
INVITE MORE LOVE INTO YOUR LIFE.
Sex Coaching, Sex Therapy, Couples Coaching,
Relationship Coaching, Sexologist, Santa Rosa, Sebastopol
ABOUT
My Story
I absolutely love helping my clients feel more alive, fulfilled and sexy.
As a Somatica® trained Sex and Relationship Coach and Certified Sexologist, I celebrate people's unique desires and goals, and help clients uncover what's holding them back from getting what they want in relationship. Together we practice and play, with the ultimate goal of developing a new repertoire of tools, skills, and presence.
I am especially drawn to working with clients who struggle with initiating intimacy and those new to the dating scene after life transitions or divorce. I also love helping couples rediscover passion and eros in their relationships. With experiential practice as the backbone of this style of coaching, I help clients work through triggers, gain confidence, and express more of what they want and need. This is practical, hands on work that yields new skills and insights with every session, allowing clients to move toward feeling more turn on in their relationships, and in life.
I create a safe and playful space for people to deeply explore how they want to be loved in the world. Together we create a road map for developing new skills, communicating desires, working through conflict, and bringing about real change in relationships. I am convinced that we can achieve magical states of flow by connecting with others intimately, and I love facilitating this discovery in session.
With a B.A. in Psychology, and an MBA in Organizational Behavior, I have always been passionate about what makes people tick, and more importantly, what makes people deeply fulfilled. Today I am committed to helping people experience more vitality and connection in their lives. In addition to being a Somatica Coach, I am also trained as a Skydancing Tantra Teacher and Coach. I help clients get out of their heads and feel more energy in their bodies. By learning how to harness and enhance this energy in a non-sexual context, people begin to notice what a powerful presence they become in the world. This work stimulates change in many arenas of life beyond the bedroom.
Today I am proud to practice a ground-breaking new method of experiential, relational and body-based intimacy coaching. The Somatica Method ® empowers people to learn and practice new skills and ways of being in a supportive, boundaried, non-judgmental space. I completed my first Core Training with the Somatica Institute in 2017, returned in 2018 as an Assistant, and then as a Group Leader in 2021 and 2022. I also completed the Advanced Character Strategy Training in 2019, as well as attending continuing education trainings in Internal Family Systems psychology, trauma focused somatic therapy, and Esther Perel's couples therapy workshops.
SERVICES OFFERED
What is Sex and Relationship Coaching?
The Somatica Method of Sex and Relationship Coaching offers a "relationship lab" experience, which means that the client(s) and coach interact vulnerably and authentically with one another as they explore what is deeply desired in intimate relationships. It is an embodied approach that focuses on how we limbically connect with ourselves and others. Integrating body awareness and sensitivity into our experience allows us to know and express ourselves more fully in the world. It often leads to an explosion of creativity, inspiration, and passion for life.
The Somatica Method is experiential. We practice a wide array of relational and communication tools that allow one to practice skills for successful connection, erotic embodiment and deeper intimacy. We don't just talk, we practice. We also give and receive feedback about what's working and what isn't. Research shows that people learn and institute change by engaging in the actual experience of doing and practicing skills. This coaching style allows for rapid change in behavior, skills and confidence.
The Somatica Method takes a trauma-empowered approach, recognizing that trauma and the coping mechanisms it creates are integral parts of our reality. Rather than striving to eliminate trauma, we focus on understanding how it shapes our self-talk and influences our interactions with others. By cultivating greater self-awareness and self-compassion, we enhance our ability to emotionally regulate and advocate for our needs, especially during moments of triggering or shame. This approach fosters a sense of agency, enabling us to use trusted relationships as safe spaces for working through and healing trauma.
For more information about the Somatica Method, please click this link
What will we practice in a session?
- Develop and practice relational skills including empathy, vulnerability, active listening
- Explore what works and doesn't work for you in terms of touch, and how to ask for and receive more of what you want
- Learn about your "attachment" style and how it affects the way you relate to others
- Discover what pleasure means to you and how to tune into and ramp up desire
- Explore strategies for dealing with different capacities and desires in a relationship
- Identify, recognize, and communicate boundaries in a loving way
- Ask for and give consent
- Overcome obstacles that may be in the way of expressing your desires fully, and having them met fully
- Practice skills of seduction, and different types of touch
- Learn how to play with dominance and submission and master your energetic expression
- Expand the menu for pleasure and identify your core erotic theme
- Learn how to be more playful and flirtatious
- Practice initiating and escalating intimacy
- Build confidence through practice and authentic feedback
- Learn about triggers, how to manage conflict, and how to repair
Dating Coaching
Sometimes there is no substitute for real world practice. This is why, for many clients, getting out of the office and experiencing multiple dating scenarios is the best way to make exponential leaps in skills and confidence. It also allows for more insightful diagnosis of "tricky" spots - areas in the relating realm that pose extra challenge. We will practice meeting for the first time, empowered body language, communication techniques that work, and escalating from coffee talk to more complex and intimate connection.
Within the boundaries of the Somatica Method we will practice real relationship skills with honest, compassionate feedback, and lots of opportunity for practice. The goal is to help you feel more grounded, powerful and confident in what you have to offer in relationship.
We will practice making conversation, flirting, and confident body language in different dating environments. This extra dating practice acts as a catalyst for clients' confidence and taking more risks with new people. Knowing someone has your back is invaluable as you practice new ways of relating to others.
Experiential Coaching Versus Talk Therapy for Couples
Experiential relationship coaching is a cutting-edge approach to improving couples' relationships that encourages learning through experience and bodily sensations. Unlike traditional talk therapy, which may focus more on discussing problems or past experiences, experiential coaching involves exercises and activities designed to promote intimacy, trust and sexual connection in the here and now.
Many long-term couples face a crisis of desire. The demands of modern life and domestic partnership often lead to a loss of erotic connection. While we crave the security and comfort of a relationship, we also yearn for freedom and self-expression. Striking this balance can reignite passion.
With experiential coaching, couples are encouraged to take risks, try new things, and get out of their "thinking brains". Clients begin to tune into their own and each other's raw desires and communicate more honestly. With this approach, the coaching process can be more effective in less time - and it's often a lot more fun!
What My Clients Have to Say
"I feel lucky to have found Kathryn. Years of "stuckness" were swept away. She guided me through a process where I re-found core masculine energy and sexuality. It's hard to describe how joyous the whole process is. Of course you have to do the work on your side. But the process is fun and alive. Kathryn creates an environment where you can find your best, most authentic self. Authenticity is the first step to any relationship. Think about it - it is a rare person who can help you find authenticity. Kathryn does! I am a more engaged and alive partner."
"Kathryn is an AMAZING human being. Period. She is gifted with an amazing compassionate nature with an ability to make learning about oneself fun and enjoyable instead of an awkward experience. The very first session was GOLD and she nailed down traits about myself and provided excellent insights that I have reflected upon since. Being vulnerable can be difficult, as well as really spending time to learn about yourself and grow (believe me, I get it).....so make it easy on yourself, work with Kathryn. Congrats, you just won the lottery."
"Working and playing with Kathryn has been an incredible blessing. I've discovered more love in my life that was, at times, somehow just out of reach. Her experiential methods helped me to leap out of my head into the knowing of my body. She's a gifted beautiful guide and teacher who has gently and lovingly opened new possibilities, new pleasures, and new ways of being in this world. More love is what she is really up to, gather your courage and make time to work with you, you won't regret it. "
"I was in a deep, dark depression after a divorce and Kathryn lassoed me with a rope so I would stop falling. Her demeanor, personality, caring, and sincerity made it easy for me to vomit forth all my frustrations, issues, and eventually....positiveness. She has listening skills--bringing up subjects that we discussed from our first session that even I had forgotten about. It's so easy to talk with her and offload as well as utilizing her skills in providing insights to assist in learning about oneself and growth. Highly recommended."
"Kathryn is warm and welcoming, understanding and non-judgmental, and has helped me improve my relationship with myself and my partner. Our sessions include talking through experiences as well as learning new mental and physical techniques to handle specific issues. I always look forward to my appointments with her and highly recommend her services to anyone looking to enhance, heal or simply further explore their sexuality!"
"Carl Jung’s “Active Imaginations” is a therapeutic technique that bridges the conscious and unconscious mind, enabling individuals to explore unresolved conflicts, emotions, and repressed aspects of the psyche. Kathryn employs a personalized adaptation for sex therapy which I call “Active Participation.” This method creates a safe, empathetic space specifically aimed at addressing difficult sexual issues. By encouraging open exploration, Kathryn’s approach integrates active engagement with deep healing practices. Her innovative method has significant transformative potential, making her highly recommended for those seeking resolution of complex inner conflicts."
"Working with Kathryn has been a collaboration in my growth and healing somatically. I had previously worked with amazing people who helped me untangle the mental effects of past trauma, but the score was still being held in my body. That disconnect was keeping me from being whole. Kathryn listened, challenged me, and stood beside me while I sought to have my physical being have corrective experience. I am now experiencing life with a sense of mind, body, sexuality and spirit being integrated, and a new path is unfolding ahead of me. I am eternally grateful. "
"Kathryn is an outstanding human being. Her ability to be present, caring, personal and vulnerable makes her very special. It was the best money I've ever spent on myself. You won't be disappointed. With her help I am a transformed man knowing what I desire and I have the self confidence to manifest it. Thank you so much Kathryn. I won't forget you or our chats."
"With Kathryn's exceptional compassion I always felt at ease and safe in confronting my deepest anxieties. Her practical, experiential approach was extremely effective, enabling me to free myself of fears and insecurities that had been holding me back for so long."
"Kathryn has been amazingly intuitive at understanding what I need. She is an awesome healer who has allowed me to explore my sexuality in a very comfortable and nurturing environment. Every time I see her I leave feeling refreshed and confident and more capable of communicating and exploring my sexuality."
"I have spent my entire life emotionally numb and feeling isolated from everyone. I had two sessions with Kathryn and it was a life changing experience. For the first time in my life I experienced what love is and how it feels. I am no longer stuck in my old trauma but am able to open up and connect with people from a place of strength and vulnerability."
"I have been working with Kathryn for the past 6 months on getting out of my head and trusting my body and intuition. Kathryn brings a warm and compassionate non-judgmental approach that allows me to be fully present in our sessions. Over the past few months I've learned how to trust myself, go after what I want in my relationships and be present and accepting of all of me that shows up. I highly recommend working with her."
"Kathryn is a wonderful coach who has helped me grow so much and made my life better. She is a great teacher. This is the BEST therapy I have ever had. As someone with Aspergers, Kathryn has really helped me."
Steps of the journey: Presence, Power, Passion
Presence
- Develop awareness of being in your body
- Get out of your head and quiet mental chatter
- Focus on being instead of doing
- Increase self-awareness of how you "see" the world
- Aim for neutrality and empathy
- Be in the moment, free of time and thoughts
- Feel new capacity for loving, patient attention
- Become a better listener
- Become more attuned to sensation, not goals
Power
- Let go of things you cannot control
- Take responsibility for things you can change
- Work toward feeling sovereignty in your life
- Know that you are always in choice about how you perceive external events
- Begin to radiate your power and energy to others without "giving it away"
- Allow negativity and judgment to pass through your space without sticking
- Be gentle, loving, and forgiving toward yourself and others
- Say what you mean and mean what you say
- Welcome mistakes and practice owning your part
- Get good at repair during and after conflict
- Allow yourself to bravely try new things, play and create
Passion
- Feel and know who you really are
- Discover and communicate what you like, dislike, want and don't want
- As you know yourself more deeply, clarify desires and boundaries
- Become more aware of triggers and protective strategies, and experience more choice around how you respond
- Learn to express yourself more honestly and less defensively
- Have more freedom to ask for what you really want and deal with disappointment when you don't get it
- Become more ALIVE as you express your true self with vulnerability and compassion
- Notice that this new sense of authenticity and vitality creates space for passion, eroticism, and deeper intimacy to emerge